Tuesday, August 11, 2015

An Interview or Two

I agreed to do an interview for someone’s blog and it immediately spawned another request… from my daughter. She gathered a stack of paper and announced that she was going to do an even better interview. She wrote her first question and we began to pass the paper back and forth. While we worked, she asked if I would publish her questions.

I have decided to grant (most of) that request as well. I have edited out the books I wrote under different names and corrected a few spelling mistakes. This is otherwise a Q and A with my nine-year-old, exactly as she wrote it.

Q – How many books have you written?
A – 9 novels, 2 picture books, 1 short story collection…
Q – I meant all together.
A – Let me add them up. 23.
Q – What are they called and what order were they written?
A – 1. Dear Jane Letters _____ 15. 16. Jealousy & Yams
2. Zero Station ___________ 18. 19. Collecting Zebras
3. Tightening the Knot ______ 19. 20. The Christmas Project
4. Double Take ___________ 10. ????
5. ???? _________________ 13. 14. ????
6. Weathering Evan ________ 22. 23. Said and Unsaid
7. ???? _________________ 16. 17. ????
8. 9. The 4th Floor Lounge ___ 17. 18. ????
9. 10. ???? ______________ 20. 21. ????
10. 11. 12. ???? ____________ 21. 22. ????
11. 12. 13. Meet Cute ________ 8. ????
14. 15. Andrew’s Key

Q - How come you scribbled on your interview? This is your big day being interviewed by your daughter. And have you ever heard of the order of operations?
A - I’m sorry. I will try to write neater. It was hard to remember all the books in order.
Q - You did not answer my second question.
A - I have heard of the order of operations. 
Q - Well, there is an order of reading, too.
A - Interesting. You might need to explain the order of reading.
Q - You’ve written 23 books and you don’t know the order of reading. That’s what’s interesting. 
A - I’m not sure I know what one has to do with the other. Does that mean you read the books in the order I wrote them?
Q - Not exactly. So what’s your favorite book you have written?
A - Am I allowed to say all of them?
Q - Absolutely not.
A - I’d say right now it’s a tough call between The 4th Floor Lounge and Said and Unsaid.
Q - Obviously it’s The 4th Floor Lounge. What is your favorite chapter of The 4th Floor Lounge?
A - My favorite chapter? Off the top of my head I’d say I like the part when Charlotte is stuck doing a group project and Jason comes to rescue her.
Q - What is your favorite word of that chapter?
A - Hang on while I get the book. Despised.
Q - Okay, now you have to use that word in every response or else I…
A - Or else what?
Q - Or else I bore you with a long rant on ethics. (And you forgot the word despise. You get three strikes. That’s one.)
A – I despise that condition and I’d like to change my favorite word to I.
Q - Okay. How many stars do you give Dear Jane Letter’s cover?
A - The original cover? I give that two stars because it’s bad, but I’ve seen worse.
Q - It is awesome! But I wish you could read the newspaper. [stern]
A - I think I would run into copyright problems if I hadn’t blurred the newspaper.
Q - Your eye doctor will shout at you if the newspapers don’t stop being blurry. (And you would NOT.)
A - I’m not worried about my eye doctor having a problem with controlled blurriness.
Q - What do you like most about making covers?
A - I like to play with the various effects tools in the software. Sometimes I make crazy covers that I know I won’t use because I get distracted.
Q - You are distracted as I write this. [stern again!]
A - Sorry. I was helping one of your siblings.
Q - I like to play with them, too.
A - With computer effects or with your siblings?
Q - Oh, go to school and join the kindergartners (and you know this more than ME!).
A - Yes. I know you meant the effects. What’s your next question?
Q - What if it’s not a question?
A - I thought interviews were supposed to have questions. Wasn’t that your point?
Q - Really! [insulted] I guess kindergarten is open, too. BUT NOTHING ELSE! Do you have a goal to write 50 or 100 or 150 or… books?
A - I’ve never thought about that. It would be very cool to be able to say I’d written 100 books.
Q - Make a goal for 1500 words a half dozen hours. (Or else the rant comes in!)
A - Sometimes I do write 1500 words in 6 hours. Or less. 
Q - No or lessesses. Wait. Is that the wrong number of S’s and E’s? It is hard to remember how it’s done.
A - Okay.
Q - You did not answer the one that is actually a question. [insulted]
A - I don’t see anything I haven’t answered.
Q - What about the is that the right number of S’s and E’s???
A - Oh! That should say lesses. Though lesses may not be a word.
Q - That was a yes or no question. [stern]
A - Then the answer is no.
Q - Only one word allowed.
A - No.