Sunday, February 25, 2018

Looking Back and Looking at the Pages

I’m going to risk sounding arrogant and admit that rereading my own books is fun. I don’t mean reading a book I’m currently working on. I don’t mean editing or proofreading. I do enjoy that – I wouldn’t be a writer if I didn’t enjoy it – but I wouldn’t call it fun. I mean going back to reread something that is published, released and done. Why do I do that? It’s not because I pick up one of my own books whenever I’m looking for something to read. If I was that arrogant, I wouldn’t admit it. Probably.

Most of my books have a story. Not the story within the pages. Since I write fiction, that story is a given. I hope. I mean most of my books have a specific struggle that comes to mind when I remember writing them.

The story of Said and Unsaid is me yelling at myself as I tried to type it. That one had the roughest rough draft. The notebook was littered with arrows pointing forward and backward through the pages, paragraphs crossed off so many times I wasn’t sure if maybe I was trying to uncross them, and writing so scrunched up in the margins that I had to guess what half the words were. At one point, I was trying to follow symbols that I invented to help myself. I was so confused it wasn’t helping.

The story of Jealousy & Yams is the looooong list of titles I rejected trying to name it. They See a Family has a sad story. A minor character is loosely based on my uncle, who passed away while I was writing it. Andrew’s Key changed the most from my original concept. Berries, though only a tiny part of the book, are central to the story of Beyond Wisherton. The kids eat wild berries in the story. There are yellow and green ones on the bushes and because they are foreign, the kids don’t know which are ripe. In the end, (teeny tiny spoiler) the berries they’ve been complaining about tasted yucky because they ate the wrong color. I screwed that up in the first draft. The ripe color changed halfway through the book. I went back and fixed it, including at least one mention that was already right. Then I had to fix it again. I couldn’t seem to keep those berries straight for anything. The last thing I did before I released the book was find every mention of yellow and green to make sure it stayed consistent.

Writing a book is work. It’s work that I love, but it is work. I remember the work. I don’t remember everything. That’s why I sometimes have to reread my books, especially if I’m working on a series. I wrote Hearts on the Window about a year and a half after I’d finished the other Hartford books so when Seth Anderson showed up in the story, I couldn’t remember what color hair I gave him. I had to find him in Collecting Zebras, then because I’m a little paranoid I had to make sure he had the same color hair in the next book. I’ve had to remind myself the day of the week something happened, a last name, the number of siblings and so on. I usually have to read a little to find these things. That’s where I find some unexpected fun.

Mixed in with sentences I could recite without looking are occasionally things I don’t remember writing. It’s fun to be surprised by that. I get to read conversations that make me smile. I find enjoyment in the writing and perhaps confirmation that all those struggles actually produced something worthwhile. And if taking a little pride in my work makes me sound arrogant, then let’s just pretend I didn’t admit it.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

How I Ruined My Books

Until recently, I could say that I’d never signed one of my books. This was partly because no one ever asked. It seemed incredibly arrogant to offer my signature as though it would add value to a book. After all, I’ve never sought signed copies of the books I read, not even my favorites.

The other reason I never signed books was more personal and more deep-seated. It was also more ridiculous. I couldn’t do it because I was brainwashed against writing in books as a child.

The textbooks at my school – like most schools – were used for several years before new ones were purchased. Each child wrote his or her name inside the cover at the start of the year and nothing else was allowed to be written in that book the rest of the year. Nothing else. Period. Every single non-erasable mark found at the end of the year was worth a fifty cent fine. And each child had to stand in front of the teacher’s desk while she flipped through it checking for compliance. Being a rule-follower, I wouldn’t have considered writing in a book even without the hefty fine. Writing in books became a huge no-no. I carried this mentality to all my books.

I once found a mark maybe two inches long in a school book. It looked as though someone had carelessly turned a page while holding a pen. My 10-year-old self freaked out. I wondered if there was a list somewhere. Was there a record that someone had already been fined for the ink on page such-and-such of the book in my possession? Or would I be held responsible for what I knew I hadn’t done? I took that book home and tried to erase the line. I knew ink did not erase. Of course I knew that. Nothing erases ink! It was a crisis. The best I could do was use a white crayon to make the line fainter. And I felt seriously guilty using that crayon in a book. I was doing exactly what I was trying not to get in trouble for not doing. Panic and logic do not go together.

I ended up escaping a fine that year. I felt very lucky. What I could not escape was the lingering feeling that writing in a book is always wrong. Always. It doesn’t matter who owns it. I don’t even write in my own proof copies. I’ll have a book that I know isn’t finished, that I know will be recycled after I mark the revisions, and I still cannot bring myself to write directly in the book. I use bookmarks crammed with notes. Somehow, that feels more normal.

I show up for my study group with spare paper for notes. That’s what we’re supposed to do. It’s what I was trained to do. I cringe as others write in their books and kind of want to scream at them for doing something so wrong. My in-laws have the habit of writing in every single book they give to my kids. It’s usually something short like “Merry Christmas 2012.” It’s great that they give the kids books because books are, in general, awesome. But I always wonder why they had to ruin the book before they gave it to us.

I know.

I know I’m the one who’s weird here. Inscription is a word. Lots of people write in their books. Lots of people think it’s actually a good thing. That’s why when I was finally asked to sign copies of one of my books, I did not say, “Are you insane? I can’t ruin the books before we pass them out.” I acted as though it was no big deal. You want me to scribble in the books first? Sure. I’ll ruin them if that’s what you want. I am not willing to sacrifice my principles to gain more readers, but I will gladly sacrifice an odd hang-up. Well, maybe not gladly. Maybe there was cringing.

Friday, December 15, 2017

The Study Group - Part 7

This is the final installment.  To start at the beginning, find Part 1 here.

“You’re not going to try to talk me out of it?”
Annie stopped what she was doing to question Mallory.  “Why would I try to talk you out of having a headache?  That’s not even possible.”
“No, I mean talk me out of skipping the movie.  Don’t you want me to tag along to keep Jake from having ideas about it being a date?”
Annie was putting away the clothes she’d washed that day.  She opened a drawer to drop in the last shirt.  Then she turned around to face Mallory with her arms crossed.  “There are several things wrong with what you just said.”
Mallory smiled and said, “Oh, good… I feel a speech coming,” with heavy sarcasm.
A laugh tried to come out in response, but Annie squelched it.  “First of all,” she said, “I am not a child.  I don’t need you to babysit me or Jake.  Second of all, I’m not the sort of person who would ask my friend to suffer through a movie when she’s not feeling well just to help me avoid an awkward conversation with a guy.  And lastly…”  She paused to figure out how to say she was glad Mallory decided not to come without saying she was glad Mallory decided not to come.  “Well, I might not be as against Jake having ideas as I used to be.”
“Oh!”  Mallory got excited before she put her hand to her forehead, an indication of how poorly high-pitched noises and headaches went together. 
“If he hasn’t given up,” Annie added.
“Uh… he invited you to the movie tonight.”
“He invited both of us.”
Mallory answered with an exasperated sigh.
“I know,” Annie said.  “I’m just nervous, okay?”  It did seem a little unnecessary when Jake had been so persistent.  But Annie was invested now.  She couldn’t help worrying that she’d rejected him one too many times.
“Have fun,” Mallory said.
“Thanks.”  Annie put on her coat and grabbed a neatly folded blanket.  She hugged it to her chest as she went downstairs to meet Jake.
He was early.  Jake was standing just inside the lobby door with a Cleveland Browns blanket draped over his shoulder.  He was staring out the window and hadn’t noticed Annie yet.
She walked towards him with ridiculous concentration.  She wanted to hurry because he was waiting.  She didn’t want to hurry and seem overeager.  Then again, overeager might be a good thing after all the times she’d said they’d only ever be friends.  But she couldn’t move her arms.  She’d look funny walking fast holding a blanket.  Walking slowly and casually would make a better impression.  Not too slowly though.  The guy wasn’t even looking at her while she deliberated her steps. 
Jake turned as she got close and smiled with surprise.  “Where’s Mallory?” he asked.
“She’s not coming,” Annie said.  “She’s not feeling well.”
“That’s too bad.”  Jake looked as though he meant it, which was good.  Compassion was good. 
Annie gave herself a mental kick for wanting him to look happier at the change in plans.
He looked more uncertain than anything.  “You’re still coming?” he asked.
“Sure.”  Annie wiggled the blanket that should have made her intention clear, then she joked, “But it better be a good movie.”
Jake laughed.  “No promises.  Other than the fact that we can leave any time you want.”  He turned and took a step to open the door for Annie.
She walked out more relaxed than before.  Jake was a nice guy.  She was going to have a nice time.  But they were not going to watch a movie.  Instead of finding students gathering on the lawn, they began to pass people bundled or carrying blankets going the opposite direction.
One of those people, a girl with short black hair, said, “Are you two headed to the movie?  They’re not doing it.”
“It’s canceled?” Jake asked.
“I don’t know,” the girl said.  “No one seems to know anything.  It’s just not happening.”  She continued past Annie and Jake to catch up to her friends.
Jake stopped and faced Annie.  “Are we going to turn around?”
She stared at him, also at a loss.  “Well… I don’t know.”
“I wonder what happened.”  Jake tipped his head to the side.
“I, uh…”  Annie found herself trying not to laugh at the helplessness with which they both seemed to be facing this minor hurdle.  The library was right in front of her.  “Let’s go to the library instead,” she suggested.
Annie fell into step next to him.  The walk was quiet.  She figured it was only a matter of time before he asked what they were going to do at the library because she had no idea what they were going to do.
They entered the building with neither of them mentioning a plan.  There were several study tables along the far side where their group typically met on Thursdays.  Only a few people sat in that area, but Annie motioned Jake to the elevator.  There was more study space on the 6th floor, and she hoped to find that empty.  It was a Saturday after all.  The space appeared deserted as they exited the elevator.  There were shelves along the walls that could hide people.  It was extremely quiet and the tables were all unclaimed.  Annie walked past all of them to the window.  She looked down to the lawn where the movie was supposed to be shown.  Three blankets were spread out with students milling about between them.  “I guess those guys couldn’t think of anything else to do either,” she observed.
When Jake didn’t respond, she turned to see that he was not right behind her.  He’d dropped his blanket on one of the tables and was standing at a computer catalog.  The screen was blank, and he seemed to be doing something next to the keyboard. 
Annie put her blanket on top of his and walked towards him.
He turned around before she reached him.  He had folded one of the slips of paper into a tiny airplane.  He tried to fly it to her, or at her.
The paper plane did an immediate nosedive and hit the ground hard between them.  They both laughed.
Then Jake raised his eyebrows and said, “Can you do better?”
“Probably not,” Annie admitted.  “But I’ll give it a shot.”
She took a piece of paper and folded a little airplane while Jake straightened the tip of his.  Then they stood next to each other and flew them at the same time.  Jake tossed his more gently and it flew farther than the first time.  Annie’s flew towards the ceiling before it crashed right next to her.  “That was not better,” she said.
“Not yet.”  Jake jogged over to retrieve his plane.  “Let’s see who can land one on that table first.”
“That table?”  Annie pointed to the one right in front of her.
“No, that one.”  Jake pointed across the room.
“Does it have to be a pretty landing?”
Jake smiled.  “It only has to stop on the table.”
“All right.  But I’m making a new one.”
“Not me.”  Jake squeezed the tip of his plane to flatten the crease.  “I’m sticking with this one.  I’m going to call it Crisp Wings.”
“Crisp Wings?”  Annie bit her lip against a laugh.  “That sounds like a cereal.”
“It’s not like I’ve given it a lot of thought, but it’s a fine name.  What are you calling yours?”
Annie was working on her new plane.  She flipped it over and pressed down the second wing.  Then she smiled teasingly and said, “Victor.”
“That’s going to be a terrible name when it loses.”  Jake tossed his plane towards the agreed upon table.  It landed under the table next to it.
“I think you mean if it loses,” Annie said.  She aimed Victor and flew it softly.  It went sideways and about half as far as Jake’s, which only made her enjoy the name more.  They both flew their planes at least ten times before Jake managed to land his on the very edge of the table.
He raised an arm in celebration.  “I can’t believe you doubted Crisp Wings.”
Annie laughed again at the name.  It definitely took any sting out of losing.  “Let’s make it harder,” she said. 
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
Annie just nodded.  She grabbed four large books off the nearest shelf and arranged them on the table so that their spines formed a rectangle.  “You have to get a plane in here.”
Jake held his tiny airplane up to show that he was ready.
Annie returned to the computer and picked up three more pieces of paper.  “I’m going to try a few more,” she said.
With extra planes, she didn’t have to retrieve them as often.  Annie got in two or three tries for each of Jake’s.  She still wasn’t getting anywhere near the target.  Neither was Jake.  He insisted on using the same plane until the tip was crumpled beyond hope, then he folded Crisp Wings 2.  It only got a few flights before Annie said, “I give up.”
“Me, too.”  Jake picked up his plane and frowned at it.  “I don’t think the paper wants to cooperate.  It’s not us.”
Annie looked at the books she’d used for a target, intending to put them away.  One was an art book.  She began to flip through the many pictures in its pages.  “Oh, I like this one.”  She stopped at a painting of angels.  Jake came up to look over her shoulder.
A frisson of warmth flooded Annie’s face.  She thought of all the times she’d insisted to Mallory that she’d never be attracted to Jake.  All times she’d been wrong.
“I like when artists draw angels like this,” he said, studying the page.  “More majestic than cute.”
“Me, too.”  Annie lingered for a moment before she turned the page.  She paused again.  This time with puzzlement instead of appreciation. 
“Is that a tree?” Jake asked.
Annie turned the book sideways.  “I don’t think so.”
“Oh.”  He put his finger on some text near the picture.  “It’s underground tunnels.”
“Okay.”  Annie turned another page. 
They continued to discuss the artwork in the book until a disembodied voice said, “Attention students.  The library will be closing in ten minutes.”
Annie looked at her watch.  “The library closes at nine on Saturdays?”
“Apparently,”  Jake said with a shrug.
Annie closed the book.  She took all four of them back to the shelf.  Jake picked up their blankets and met her at the elevator.  They made pleasant chitchat on the way back to Annie’s dorm.  She felt a strange tension grow as their destination got closer.  She knew she’d see Jake again at the study group if they didn’t make other plans.  But it still felt important to say something about getting together again.  It would acknowledge the shift Annie felt in the relationship.
When they stopped at the door, Jake handed her the blanket she’d brought for nothing.  Annie swallowed some butterflies and said, “Do you think they’ll do a movie next Saturday?”
“I hope so.  And I hope you’ll come with me to find out again because this was fun.”  He took a step back and started talking faster.  “I mean, I know this wasn’t a date.  I didn’t mean that.  I’m not trying to be pushy.  I’d just like to spend some more time with you.  Do you want to try again next week?”
Annie let her eyes drop to the ground.  She wasn’t sure how to answer.  Of course she wanted to go with him again.  That’s why she’d brought it up.  But he’d just insisted it wouldn’t mean anything and she didn’t want to agree to that.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
“No.”  She tried to look at Jake.  Her eyes hovered around his collar where she could see his Adam’s apple moving up and down.  “It’s just… well, I kind of thought it was a date.”
Jake didn’t say anything.
Annie lifted her eyes nervously.
A blank look covered his face.  Then he nodded and said, “That’s good to know,” as he turned to leave. 
Annie gaped after him, wanting to believe he’d done something wrong when all he’d done was crush her ego by not looking thrilled at her change of heart.
He stopped after only two steps and looked back.  “So, uh… next week would be a date, too?” he asked.  His calm appearance was cracking all over the place as his eyes danced and his mouth twitched to hold back a smile.  Clearly, he was thrilled and trying to play it cool.
“Yes,” Annie said.  “See you Thursday?”
Jake nodded.  He would see her at the study group.  Finally, she would see him, too.

The End

I hope you enjoyed this short story.  Annie and Jake appear as minor characters in They See a FamilyCheck it out to see where they are eleven years later.

Monday, December 4, 2017

The Study Group - Part 6

“He’s going to ask you out again today,” Mallory said.
“No, he’s not.”  Annie pulled off her hat and smoothed down her hair.  It wasn’t quite as cold as she expected.  “Saturday wasn’t a date so there’s no again, and I brought my little brothers.  I think that was a good hint of where I stand.”
“But you had fun.”
“We did.  As friends.”
“So you’d agree to do something with him again?”
Annie sighed and opened the door to the library.  “Not the way you say it.  You make ‘do something’ sound like a betrothal.  Besides, he’s not going to ask me out in the middle of the study group.”
“It’s just going to be four of us today.  Aaron is taking Hannah out for her birthday.”
“Oh, yeah.  Still… we’re here to study.”
Mallory snorted.  “You don’t have any homework this week.  You’re here to hang out with Jake and make him fall for you even more.”
Annie issued a playful shove in response.  She wasn’t going to argue against a relationship with Jake yet again.
He and Carlos were already at their usual table.  They sat at opposite corners.  Carlos had his back to the girls as they walked up and was laughing at something Jake said before Annie was close enough to hear.  She took the seat next to Carlos and was about to ask what was so funny.
Mallory leaned close and made a sniffing noise in Annie’s ear.  It was a jab about her obviously smelling Carlos, which she hadn’t even been thinking about.  She gave Mallory a look that she hoped conveyed significant displeasure with her mock sniffing.
Jake smiled at either the sound effect or the reprimand.  There was a lack of amusement in his eyes though that made Annie uneasy.  She felt a sudden need to explain that she’d only sat next to Carlos out of habit.  The thought caused several others to trip into a pile in her head.  First was the knowledge that she had in fact taken the seat next to Carlos out of habit.  Next was the idea that she wanted Jake to share that knowledge.  Last was the dawning understanding that something had changed.
Somewhere between giving her mom flowers and treating her little brothers like friends, Jake had formed a connection to Annie.  It wasn’t anything like a lifelong bond, but it was enough to make Annie curious about a stronger connection.  Curious and… interested.  She unzipped the backpack at her feet and started pulling things out to cover her unexpectedly flustered state.
“What are you doing?” Mallory asked.
“I’m… getting ready.”
“For what?”  Mallory was sending her a concerned look.  “You said you didn’t have any homework tonight.”
Annie was going to say she was getting ready to study.  Surely she had something she could review.  But Carlos spoke first.
“You don’t have homework?” he said.  “Great.  You can help me with this awful poem.”
Jake groaned.  “Well, she’s got to be better than me.”
“Yeah,” Carlos said.  “He wanted me to rhyme sunset with not yet.”
“What?” Annie laughed and looked at Jake.  So did Mallory.
He shrugged.  “You didn’t give me much to work with.  Tell them what you have so far.”
“I’m supposed to write couplets about something in nature,” Carlos explained.  “I have ‘I’m sitting by the window to watch the sunset.’”
There was a pause before Mallory said, “That’s it?”
“I’m not a poet,” Carlos said.  “Do you think if I wrote a few more random lines I could get half credit for half couplets?”
“Yet could work.”  Annie gathered some thoughts.  “I’m sitting by the window to watch the sunset.  I realize it hasn’t started yet.  The sky is still blue.  Uh… lots of things rhyme with blue.  Someone help me.”
Mallory tried.  “The sky is still blue.  The grass is covered with dew.  I guess it’s still morning.”  She looked around the table for a suggestion.
Jake said, “How about… This very long wait will be boring.  But if I sit all day I bet… I might get to see the sunset yet.”
“We already used yet,” Mallory said, trying to keep a straight face.
Annie was also working to swallow a laugh.  It wasn’t only awful because they’d used yet, and Jake’s face said he knew it, too.
“We did.”  Jake winced again.  “That was so terrible.”
Carlos was writing it all down.  “But it’s pretty close guys.  I’m just going to change the last two lines to ‘But I have nothing else to do, maybe I’ll watch the sun rise, too.’”
Annie didn’t think that was much better.  At least it was something Carlos wrote himself.
He closed that binder and opened a different one.  “On to statistics,” he said.  “That class always has the most homework.”
 When he shifted to a new subject, Annie caught a whiff of that nice cologne.  She still enjoyed the scent, but it was like smelling cookies.  Nothing personal.  She asked Mallory if she wanted to study Geology, the one class they had together.  Jake finished the assignment he’d brought and took Annie’s textbook to let the girls compete to guess vocabulary words.
Carlos finished his statistics, and they all began to pack up.  The four of them walked away from the table together.  “Wait one minute,” Mallory said.  “I want to check out a book while we’re here.”  She disappeared between two shelves of fiction.
“See you next week.”  Carlos kept walking towards the exit.
Jake stopped next to Annie.
She felt her stomach turn sideways, then inside out.  The idea that this was a chance for Jake to ask her out was now less unsettling than the idea that he might not take it.
“Are you going home again this weekend?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Any plans here?”
She continued the side to side movement.  “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“They’re doing the first outdoor movie of the year on Saturday,” he said.
“Already?  It’ll be cold.”
“Probably.  People will bring blankets.”
“Do you know what they’re showing?”
Now Jake shook his head.  “Would you be interested in finding out?  I mean, you and Mallory could both come with me to find out.”
Annie smiled at the way he saved her the trouble of inviting another person.  “Will you carry our blankets for us?”
“No matter what year it is.”
She smiled again, more self-consciously because of his reference.  “Okay.  I’ll tell Mallory.”

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

The Study Group - Part 5

“Do you want a cheeseburger, Michael?” Annie asked.  “Or something else.  They have chicken.”
A blank stare was her only response.
“Michael?”  She spoke louder.
His eyes seemed to focus on her. 
“Do you want a cheeseburger?”
“I like McDonalds,” he said.
“You’re in luck.  That’s where we are.”  As soon as they got into his car, Jake had assured Annie that he still intended to pay for the expanded party.  When William asked to go to the inexpensive fast food place, Annie readily agreed.  Few people would call it romantic.  She ordered for herself and Michael and the four of them soon sat down with a tray of food.
Jake turned to William, who was sitting next to him.  “So,” he said, “you were going to tell me about Annie dropping the lasagna.”
William began to chew faster so he could talk. 
“It’s not a story,” Annie said first.  “I dropped it.  There was a huge mess.  The end.”
“But it was funny,” William said, still chewing.
“Because you didn’t have to clean it up.”
“Neither did you.  Mom did.”
“She made me help.”  Jake was watching the two of them with amusement and Annie realized that her kid brother was bringing out her juvenile side.  “Okay,” she said.  “Tell the story.”
“Annie wanted to make this fancy lasagna.  It had, I don’t know, this green stuff and a weird runny cheese and…”  William was waving a chicken nugget around and he set it back in the box as he planned to talk awhile before getting another bite.  “And she spent forever chopping things up and making layers and then… there was this commotion.  I came into the kitchen when Annie screamed.  Mom and Dad were arguing over something and Michael was just standing in the corner yelling, ‘Hot, hot!’  Then I figured out that Mom and Dad were trying to decide if any of the lasagna was still edible.  The pan was upside down on the oven door and white and red stuff was oozing out all around it.  Annie was at the sink crying.”
“Did you burn yourself?” Jake interrupted with a concerned expression.
“A little,” Annie said.  “That’s what made me drop it.  But the tears were just… It was nearly two hours of work wasted.”
Jake nodded slowly.  “When did this happen?”
“A long time ago,” William said.
Annie tried to remember.  “I think I was fifteen.”
Jake must have decided that was enough time for her to be over it.  He turned back to William.  “Is your sister still a terrible cook?”
A somewhat nasty grin popped up on William’s face, mostly for Annie’s benefit.  Then he dropped it.  “Not really.  I actually like it when Annie cooks more than Mom most of the time.  She’s gotten better.”
Annie smiled at her brother to acknowledge the compliment.  Then she noticed that Jake also seemed to approve.  She needed William to start listing her faults.  She didn’t know how to do that without asking straight out.
“Can I have your fries?”  Michael was already reaching in front of Annie as he spoke.
“I, uh, I guess.”  Annie saw that Michael had already finished every scrap of food she’d put in front of him.  It shouldn’t have surprised her.  He normally inhaled his food.
He tipped the box too far as he took it and all the fries slid out onto the tray.  “Ohhh.”  He stretched the word, clearly unsure how to handle the mistake.
“I got it.”  Annie scooped the fries back into the box and handed it to her brother.  She left a few on the tray for herself.  Then she looked across the table at Jake to see if he noticed her greediness.
He smiled and bumped his eyebrows playfully before he took one of those fries for himself.  He still had half of his fries left.  The glance he sent Annie dared her to say something before he looked at Michael.  “What can you tell me about Annie?” he asked.
Michael turned to his sister.
Jake said, “Yes, that Annie.”
William snickered.
“She’s my sister,” Michael said.
“I know.”  Jake looked between them.  “You two look a bit alike.”
“I’m Michael.”
“I know.  Your hair is the same shade of brown and your noses are similar.”
“I’m Michael.”
Jake nodded and moved on.  “What can you tell me about Annie?”
“Annie likes pink.”
“I do,” Annie said.  “I have two brothers.  I have to assert my girliness now and then.”
The interview continued.  “What else does she like?”
William jumped in.  “Not roller coasters!  When we go to Cedar Point, she won’t ride anything good.  She likes…”  He paused to insert a shudder.  “…the carousel.”
Jake laughed.
Annie defended her choice.  “Not the regular carousel.  Cedar Downs.  The one with race horses.”
“I ride the horses.”  Michael tipped his head dreamily.  “I ride horses fast.”
“We ride that carousel a lot,” Annie said.  “There’s usually a short line.” 
William rolled his eyes.  “I bet you don’t show your face next year.”
“Oh, they won’t recognize us or anything.”
“Wait, wait.”  Jake waved his hand between them.  “What happened?”
“Michael had a seizure.  I kept him from falling off.  But I had to carry him when we left the ride.  Someone said he fell and the employees called someone.  We spent two hours at the first aid station convincing them that he wasn’t injured on the ride.  We had to wait for them to find Mom and Dad to verify our story.”
William elbowed Jake.  “The carousel is at least better than the first aid station ride.”
“Yeah, do you…”  Jake looked at Michael with equal parts surprise and confusion.  “Is he asleep?”
Annie gave Michael a nudge with her arm.  He was sleeping hard and gave no sign that he’d felt the nudge.  “The meds make him drowsy,” she said.  “Guess you’re not going to get dirt on me from him.”
“No need,” Jake said.  “William is helping.”
“Oh, yeah.”  William’s eyes lit up.  “I can tell you about the time Annie went to school in costume… on the wrong day!”
Annie put her head in her hands and groaned.  She knew that story would come up.  Showing up for Oregon Trail day a week early wasn’t just her most embarrassing moment of ninth grade but of her entire life.  Her mom had brought her a change of clothes so she’d endured only two periods of snickering.
William relished telling the story.  He barely remembered it, and that was evident in his questionable facts.  Annie let him talk because Jake seemed to know when he was exaggerating.  William regaled them with a few other stories before Jake shared some from his life.  The three of them were laughing after every last fry had been eaten.
Annie shook Michael awake when it was time to leave.  She was a bit reluctant since she was enjoying herself.  She’d forgotten she was trying to make a poor impression on Jake.  But she’d also forgotten it was supposed to be a date.  Hopefully, Jake had as well.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

The Study Group - Part 4

Annie looked out the window for Jake.  He wasn’t late.  He said he’d be there around 11 am and that was still a half hour away.  She’d decided to wait until the last minute to tell her parents that someone was coming over.  But she didn’t want to wait until he was pulling in the driveway either.
It wasn’t that she was worried her parents would embarrass her, or Jake.  They were fairly reasonable people.  Coming to meet the parents gave a date vibe to the situation that she didn’t want because it wasn’t a date.  She wished she’d been clearer with Jake about that.  Now she was hoping that if she waited long enough to say something, the rest of her family would conveniently need to run an errand right before he showed up.
Annie came away from the window and soon found her mom flipping through the pages of a magazine.  Her ten-year-old brother was slumped against her arm, sound asleep.  Annie took a seat across the room from them and picked up a puzzle book from the coffee table.  Restlessness kept it closed in her lap.  She fiddled with the cover as she watched the minutes slink past.  If she waited much longer, Jake could be early and show up before she warned anyone.
Diana looked up at her daughter.
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m going out for lunch.  A friend from school is coming to pick me up soon.”
“Oh!”  Diana smiled with interest.  “What’s his name?”
 Annie wanted to scowl at her mom for assuming the friend was a guy.  But she was trying to act as though that didn’t matter.  “Jake,” she said.
“How long have you know him?”
“He’s part of the study group we started from church this year.”
“And what is he studying?”
“Mom, you don’t have to grill me.  He’s just a friend.  We’re just having lunch.  Please don’t treat him like a date when he gets here.”
“When who gets here?”  Annie’s dad, Cliff, had walked into the room while she was talking.
Diana smiled up at her husband.  “A boy from school is coming to take Annie out to lunch.”
“Really?”  Cliff pulled himself up straight as he folded his arms across his chest.  “Do I know this boy?”
“You can meet him when he gets here,” Annie said, “as long as you don’t act like that.”
He breathed in to puff up his chest.  “Like what?  I need to be sure this boy knows how to treat my baby.”
“I’m not a baby.  He’s a nice guy.  And it’s not a date.”
Diana reached up and patted her husband’s arm.  “It does sound as though she’s known him for a while.”
Annie’s dad continued his intimidating posture.  She thought he might only be doing it to tease her, but she wasn’t positive.  Before she could decide which approach to use to get him to cooperate, another person entered the room, her 13-year-old brother William.
“Hey,” he said.  “A car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Annie is expecting a friend to take her to lunch,” Diana explained.
“Can I come!?”
His mom chuckled.  “I don’t think Annie wants you tagging along on her date.”
“It’s not a date,” Annie hissed.  And it certainly wouldn’t be if she brought her little brother.  “Sure, William, you can come.”
“Cool,” he said.  “I got to find my shoes.”
The doorbell rang as he ran up the stairs.
“I’ll get it,” Annie said, before anyone else could make a move.  Her eyes pleaded with her dad to relax as she walked away.  He frowned a bit deeper.
The first thing she noticed when she opened the door was that Jake was holding a bunch of small colorful flowers.
“Hi,” he said.  He seemed to follow her eyes and lowered the bouquet to make his other had more prominent.  It was holding a package of M&Ms.  “These are for you.”  He handed her the M&Ms, which she knew he got because he’d seen her snacking on them at the study group.
“Thanks,” she said.
“You didn’t sound excited about flowers, but I brought some because you said it was your mom’s birthday.”  He lowered his voice to a whisper.  “Does she like flowers?”
Annie nodded.  It wasn’t going to do him any good to ingratiate himself with her parents.  But her mom did like flowers.  “Come on in.”  She motioned Jake to follow her to the living room.  She made very quick introductions before she said, “And he brought birthday flowers for mom.”
“Oh, how nice.”  Diana got up to take the flowers.  Michael woke up as she pulled herself out from under him.
Cliff had refolded his arms after he shook Jake’s hand.  He was silently staring at him.
“Dad,” Annie said, “can you please tone it down?  I’m sure Jake would answer a few questions if you like and that would be more productive than you trying to look scary.”
Cliff slowly cracked a smile as he lowered his arms.  “I suppose I don’t need to be intimidating since you’re bringing a chaperone.”
Jake looked at Annie for clarification.
“My brother wanted to come with us,” she said, “and I told him that was okay.  I hope you don’t mind.”
“No.  No, that’s fine.”  Jake looked at Michael.  “You’re coming to lunch with us?”
Michael grinned as he said, “I’m hungry.”
He was still rising from the couch as William bounded into the room and flung open a hall closet to grab his coat.
Jake glanced between them and seemed to realize his mistake.
Annie smiled as his expression seemed to waver between overwhelmed and entertained.  “I guess we’re all going,” she said.  “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for the boys.”
“No, I can—”
Jake was cut off by Annie’s mom.  “Michael and William can stay home.”
“But Annie said I could go,” William protested.
“I think taking both boys is a great idea,” Cliff said.
Diana shot him a disapproving look.
“So do I.”  Jake nodded as he caught up with the situation.  “I’d like to know Annie better, and I’m sure her brothers have lots of good stories.”
“Oh, I can tell you about the time Annie dropped the lasagna on the door of the oven,” William said.  “Face down.”
Annie had already grabbed her coat and Michael’s.  She was helping Michael into his.  An afternoon of listening to William list her mistakes didn’t exactly sound fun.  But it probably wasn’t what Jake had in mind either.  Surely this would give him the hint to back off.
Diana handed Annie a small envelope.  “You’ll need his noon pills if you’re sure you want to take him.”
Jake and William were halfway out the front door, chatting like old friends.  Annie put on her own coat and pushed Michael’s meds securely to the bottom of her pocket.  Her mom was looking at her with great sympathy.  Her dad was nodding approvingly at the turn of events.  Annie couldn’t decide which of them was being more annoying.  She put on a big smile and waved at both of them.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

The Study Group - Part 3

Annie and Mallory were the last to show up for the next study group meeting.  It was Thursday.  Annie had a paper due on Friday.  She needed ten pages and had written four.  Her mind was solely on homework as they approached.
Then Mallory rushed the last few steps to grab a seat and leave the only empty seat right between Jake and Carlos.  Annie pulled out the chair and tried to sit herself in the exact center of the table.  Mallory said she’d been too conspicuous in her attention to Carlos so she was careful not to lean that direction.  And she didn’t want to give Jake any false encouragement so she avoided his side, too.
Annie’s grandmother was a stickler for proper posture and would have loved the straight spine she maintained while she pulled her laptop from her bag.
“Getting right to work today?” Jake asked.
Annie nodded while she tried to figure out where she’d saved her outline.  She’d only made an outline because she had to turn it in separately, but now that she was facing a short deadline she was willing to see if it would help.
“Someone’s been slacking this week.”  Mallory’s tone was gentle teasing.  “She’s been watching too much TV with me.”
“You shouldn’t have been tempting me,” Annie said.
Jake addressed Mallory.  “Doesn’t that mean you’ve been watching too much TV, too?”
“Yes,” Mallory admitted, “but I’m not the one who’s paying for it with six pages in one night.”
“Six pages?” Hannah looked sympathetic.
“Two words,” Carlos said.  “Big font.”
“Let us know if you want any help.”  Jake pushed his books a little to the side to show willingness to delay his own work.  “But I’m sure you can do it.”
Annie smiled at the support around her.  “Thanks, everyone.  I think I just need to concentrate.”
Whether the others were trying not to disturb her or just busy themselves, Annie didn’t know.  The mood stayed sober and quieter than usual either way.  She was able to listen to some occasional chitchat without letting it interrupt.
Carlos was the first to leave.  Annie acknowledged his departure with a wave and little disappointment.  She’d become too engrossed in her homework to care who was sitting on either side of her.
She’d written a few more paragraphs when Hannah said, “It’s getting late.  How’s the paper coming, Annie?”
“I’m halfway through page nine.  I think I can make it.”  Annie looked up as she answered and saw that Mallory had her coat on as well.
“How about you pack up and finish at the dorm?” Mallory asked.
“Um…”  Annie was trying to hang on to the thought she wanted to work into the paper next.  “I’m making good progress.  I think I’ll be faster if I stay put.”
“Do you mind if I tag along with these guys, or do you want me to stay until you’re done?”  Mallory’s eyes went from Hannah and Aaron – who were standing with bags over their shoulders already – to Jake – who gave her a quick nod – before they landed on Annie for an answer.
Annie paused to register the situation.  She was aware that the others were arranging to have Jake walk her to her dorm.  They might have been taking advantage of the fact that he was a nice guy.  They might also have been conspiring to leave the two of them alone.  The only thing that mattered to Annie at the moment was getting her work done.  “Go ahead,” she said to Mallory.  “I don’t think I’ll be too much longer.”
There were a few encouraging looks mixed in with the waves and Annie said goodnight while trying to think about how she could stretch a simple idea into at least two sentences.  Then she went back to typing.  Her keys seemed to click louder with only two people at the table.
Eventually, Annie’s concluding paragraph spilled a line and a half onto page eleven.  It seemed very awkward.  She stared at it for a few moments.  The document was forcing a line onto that page to keep four words from being stranded.  Maybe she could find a few words to delete to end at exactly ten pages.
Then she noticed that her battery was almost dead and the library was fifteen minutes from closing.  The paper stopped feeling awkward and just felt done.  She closed the laptop.
“All done?” Jake asked.
“Yes, I’m done.”  Annie answered quickly, hoping he hadn’t noticed he’d startled her.
“Good.  You were looking relieved about something.  I was afraid I’d missed some other problem.”
“Looking relieved made you think there was a problem?”
“No.  That there was a problem.  And I missed my chance to help.”  He smiled and widened his eyes expectantly, trying to get a laugh at what was supposed to be a joke.
Somehow, the fact that it wasn’t funny made her laugh.  It might have had something to do with the way Jake was looking at her as though she could go ahead and laugh at him for making a terrible joke.
“Ready to go?” he asked.  “Or do you have other work?”
Annie didn’t have any more work.  She probably couldn’t have gotten anything done before the library closed anyway.  His manner stopped her from answering immediately though.  There was no impatience.  The only thing sitting in front of him was a closed book.  His dorm was in the opposite direction as hers.  Yet he asked if she had anything else to get done as though he wasn’t bored and going out of his way to help her.  He was exactly the kind of guy she should be looking for.
But when she looked at him… nothing.  He had light brown hair that wasn’t curly so much as just fluffy.  His ears stuck out, and he was attempting a goatee that wasn’t improving anything.  He reminded her more of Mr. Tumnus the Fawn than any dashing hero. 
“Annie?” Jake’s forehead crinkled to reinforce the question in the air.
“Oh.”  She began to put her things into her bag.  “Yeah, um, let me just get everything together.”  She buttoned up her coat and wrapped a scarf around her neck.  There were gloves in her pockets, which she took out and wiggled her fingers into as they walked out of the library.  Despite her preparations, the cold night air stung her face and made her eyes squint against it.
“I think I’m about ready for spring,” Jake said.
“Me, too.”  She adjusted the strap on her bag as she hugged herself for warmth.
“Is that bag heavy?” Jake held out a hand.  “Can I carry it for you?”
“You want to carry my bag?  What year is this?”
Jake pulled his hand back as though she’d slapped it.  “I guess it’s the year I stop offering to carry your bag.”
Annie chuckled only partly because it was a funny response.  Mostly she was relieved that he kept the mood light when he could have gotten annoyed.  She regretted snapping at the offer.  Helping someone was never outdated.  It was only because that specific idea hinted at an old fashioned courtship that she got defensive.  She didn’t want to give Jake the impression that anything had changed.  He’d asked her out just before Christmas break, suggested they get together while school was closed.  She told him they could see each other as friends.  Though he’d said that was okay with him, he hadn’t sounded at all convincing.  Annie had avoided making any specific plans.  But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be nice to each other.  “Sorry,” she said.  “I meant to say no, thank you.”
Jake smiled with some sadness.  It seemed he understood her reaction.  He apparently figured he had nothing to lose because he said, “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to spend some time with me this weekend.  Just something casual.  Maybe Saturday?”
“I’m actually going home this weekend.”  Annie was grateful to have a true excuse, even if it was an excuse.  “It’s my mom’s birthday.”
“Fremont’s not that far,” Jake said.  “I can drive over there to get you if you have a break in the family time.”
“If you showed up at my parents’ house, you’d have to come in and meet everyone and let them interrogate you and stuff.”
Annie stopped laughing.  The simple and very quick response caught her off guard.  She’d been ready to joke about how awful that would be for him.  But he was willing to face her parents as if he was a date when he wasn’t a date?
“I could treat you to lunch or dinner on Saturday.”  Jake pressed ahead while she was mentally stumbling.  “Would one of those work?”
She thought lunch sounded less romantic and that’s what she’d say if Mallory was there telling her to give him a chance.  Then she heard herself say, “Lunch,” when Mallory wasn’t there.
Jake was there.  He looked surprised but extremely happy.  “Great,” he said.  “Great.”  Then he started telling her a story about something that happened in one of his classes. 
Annie enjoyed the story.  She let it distract her from the cold walk.  But in the back of her mind, lunch on Saturday was distracting her as well.  She wasn’t entirely sure how or why she’d agreed to something that was not a good idea.

The Study Group - Part 4 will be posted soon. Thanks for reading.